Tuesday, 30 October 2007

A Trawl Through the Telegraph


Here, to my mind, is the Israel-Hamas conflict in a nutshell: today the Supreme Court of Israel ordered the prime minister, Ehud Olmert, to justify the fuel blockade on the Gaza strip, but at the same time Hamas is using Google Earth to find targets for its rocket attacks. And there you have it, folks: a democratic, free society where self-criticism is freely practised, faced by a collection of thugs and maniacs doing their damnest to kill lots of innocent civilians. You can make up your own mind which is which...

In other news, there is a man who had sex with a bicycle in court.

Don't get too excited: the story isn't as interesting as it sounds. He didn't take it doggy style in the dock in front of judge and jury; the headline writer should really have put, "a man who had sex with a bicycle is in court" - but nonetheless. One wonders how it is even possible, and why it is a crime. I mean, I understand why doing it in public would be against the law. But in private? It's not my cup of tea, exactly, but I hardly think the bike is going to be psychologically damaged and in need of therapy, or anything.

4 comments:

zero_zero_one said...

I understand that it is incredibly strange, but in the absence of any other information or convictions for weird sexual behaviour, how can you be put on the sex offenders register for simulating sex with a bicycle in private?

Hypothetically, you're masturbating in a hotel room, and you don't hear someone knock at the door. Two cleaners walk in on you, red faces all around for sure - but are you then placed on the sex offenders register? Should you even be prosecuted?

zero_zero_one said...

Also, how much money did it cost to bring this to court? It says that he admitted it, but surely there was a simple defence position that he could have taken:

"Erm, yeah, I was getting dressed, when I thought that my bike chain needed changing. I was just attending to that whilst naked, when I fell awkwardly. That's when the cleaners came in."

Bilbo said...

I'm sooooooo glad to see that stupid cases are not limited to the United States. Sex with a bicycle? I suppose it would be much the same as sex with an extraordinarily thin and bony lady, but...

Nice point about the difference between Israel and Hamas. I've been saying much the same thing in my blog for a long time, and it's good to see others recognizing it.

Andrew Fry said...

If it were a tandem bike would that have made it a ménage à trois.